


today's a good day

by jxxhyxns



Category: MXM (Band), Produce 101 (TV)
Genre: Bnm family, M/M, Pre-debut, donghyun's family, dongpaca will die over my dead body, minor plot twist, post-pd101
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-05
Packaged: 2019-01-29 19:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12637590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jxxhyxns/pseuds/jxxhyxns
Summary: In the end, Youngmin has to confess twice.





	today's a good day

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thanks to LillithEvans for your encouragement; without it I'm not sure I'd have worked up the courage to post this at all~

There are many things one tends to avoid when they’re an introverted, awkward, bumbling sort of person; public speaking, meeting new people, attempts at spontaneity. Ironically for Youngmin, those things, if not a requirement for functioning adulthood, are all rather crucial to his chosen career. In particular, _Produce 101_ , had been all those challenges rolled into one and compressed into the shortest time possible.

But he managed.

 _He manages._

His parents, Rhymer, their manager, Woojin, Daehwi and Donghyun- they all help him where they can and he’s sure his shy 13 year old self wouldn’t believe where 23 year old Youngmin is now. He’s working on his first ever album with his best friend, they’re on track to debut in a few months, and achieving what he’s dreamt of for so long now seems closer than ever.

All those things, his younger self would have imagined but hardly dared to believe. What he _wouldn’t_ have imagined, even in his wildest dreams, is that the person he is writing songs _with_ is essentially the person he is writing those songs _about_.

Even Youngmin himself still finds it hard to believe when he wakes up to find Donghyun has slipped into his bed during the night, head nestled on Youngmin’s chest, deep enough in slumber to be unaware of his hyung’s heart thumping loudly beneath him. Every moment he spends with Donghyun, he’s slammed with the force of the reminder that somehow he’s lucky enough to have the living embodiment of sunshine in his life, as his best friend no less.

In that case, maybe it shouldn’t be so much of a shock for Youngmin to have developed feelings.

Daehwi, as the maknae constantly reminds him, is not surprised in the least.

 

 

 

 

_“Hyung, you should see the way you look at each other!” their youngest had exclaimed flopping down onto the couch. “If I wasn’t a romantic it’d probably make me sick.”_

_“It definitely makes_ me _sick,” interjected Woojin without looking up from his phone. “I don’t need to see that lovey-dovey shit early in the morning, not before I’ve had my first cup of coffee- or three.”_

_“We don’t look at each other like that, don’t be stupid,” Youngmin mumbled as he moved from their kitchenette to sit on the couch beside Daehwi, careful not to spill his brimming mug of tea._

_He always made the mistake of overfilling it, always underestimated the amount of milk he liked to add. He took a tentative sip from the rim in the hopes of lowering the risk of him spilling it on himself but just ended up burning the tip of his tongue._

_“You can’t see yourselves, trust me. You’ve got it bad,” insisted Daehwi gleefully._

_“You’re right I can’t see myself but I can see Donghyun- and he doesn’t look at me like that. At all. So consider yourself corrected.” He tried his best to put on his ‘stern hyung’ voice. Daehwi’s glee didn’t dim in the slightest so Youngmin supposed he hadn’t succeeded._

_“Nuh, uh, I-” Daehwi didn’t finish his sentence, interrupted when Donghyun entered the room, making a beeline directly for Youngmin’s lap._

_If Youngmin’s face stiffened, it was because he was worried about the threat that the jostle of Donghyun’s movement posed to his mug. The blush on his cheeks was less easy to explain but he was nonetheless glad Donghyun couldn’t see it._

_Daehwi could, though, and he silently sent his oldest hyung a sly, knowing look._

_“Donghyunnie, can you smack Daehwi for me? My hands are full.”_

 

 

 

 

Even if Daehwi does tease him about it, and even if Woojin does complain about their allegedly excessive skinship, he knows they’re both supportive in their own ways. It’s an affirmation that warms Youngmin; their casual acknowledgment of his feelings makes it feel normal, natural, _human_. A sincerity that becomes scarcer the more time one spends as an idol; he’s seen it - the pressure on their seniors to be less like a person and more like a product.

Not that they’re idols yet. Technically, they’re still trainees but they’re balancing on the line between the two and it’s nerve-wracking to watch their youngest ones teeter on the edge of it as they step into the company van. Youngmin knew that the day Woojin and Daehwi would be moving into the Wanna One dorms would be hard on everyone; he expected to miss them the moment they were out of sight, he expected the tears (which he’d managed to hold in but Donghyun had not), but what he hadn’t expected was the tidal wave of unease that sweeps over him as he and Donghyun watch them drive away.

Knowing that things are changing doesn’t make the change any easier to bear. Six months ago none of them had imagined the four of them parting and yet now they’re doing just that. _‘The only certainty in life is uncertainty, the only constant in life is change’_ he remembers his mother advising him when he decided to move to Seoul, to audition for Brand New Music, and never before has he felt that it was more true.

They’re all aware - and Daehwi and Woojin moving out is only a reminder (as if _Produce 101_ rankings and eliminations weren’t enough) - that their circumstances are not secure in any sense of the word, no matter how it may feel at the time. The industry is volatile; what’s here today may disappear into oblivion tomorrow. 

Donghyun’s hand is warm and firm in his as they linger on the curb in the chill of the early morning, but even that too could be ripped from his grasp in the blink of an eye.

 

 

 

 

_“You should tell him,” Woojin had mumbled, scuffing his feet on the doorstep, hanging back as Daehwi and Donghyun carried their bags to the car._

_Youngmin, stunned, didn’t say a word._

_Woojin looked up to meet his hyung’s eyes before looking down again. “You know I normally...well, it’s normally Daehwi saying this kind of thing, right? But now that we’re...leaving...I don’t want you to be, um, lonely, I guess.”_

_The younger Busan boy wasn’t used to sharing his emotions like this, not as much as the others at least, and while his demeanour may have been awkward and his words hesitant, he meant what he said and Youngmin was touched. The latter pulled him into what must have been their 12th hug of the morning and rubbed his back reassuringly._

_“Don’t worry about us, Woojin-ah. We’ll be fine, we’ll be here when you come back, same as before.” He felt Woojin’s hands grasp the back of his hoodie more tightly, as if seeking an anchor. “We are so,_ so _proud of you and we’ll always be just a phone call away, remember that.”_

_Youngmin felt Woojin nod and pretended he didn’t see the sheen of tears in his eyes as they pulled apart._

 

 

 

 

Their dorm feels empty without Woojin and Daehwi. Donghyun doesn’t speak and neither does Youngmin, as if their voices aren’t enough to fill the silence. As if, in this moment, the conversation of two people, no matter how close they are, would only serve to highlight the fact that it should be four.

Youngmin thinks about how much it feels like they’re parents whose children have left the nest and he wonders if Donghyun is thinking the same thing.

They don’t speak but they do cling. It’s not even 5am yet and they’ve been given today and tomorrow off - that is, they don’t have any scheduled lessons or meetings - so they go back to bed.

It used to be that Youngmin, as the eldest, had his own bed and the other three shared. Although Donghyun would rarely stay on his side of the room, sneaking under Youngmin’s covers with complaints about Woojin trying to dance in his sleep and consequently kicking him in the shin. Even though the arrangement had originated because Youngmin needed his own space, he didn’t mind.

From today, and for the foreseeable future, there’s an abundance of room; the luxury of two beds for two people. They both end up crawling into Youngmin’s bed anyway; snuggling under the covers and finding solace in the way their bodies fit together, legs tangled and Donghyun’s head resting on his chest. Donghyun’s icy toes press against the bare skin of Youngmin’s calf, seeking warmth, and he shudders but doesn’t move away. It’s more skinship than they normally engage in, at least actively, but there’s an unspoken understanding that it’s what they both need right now.

“Goodnight, hyung,” Donghyun murmurs even though the sun is nearly up. Youngmin regrets not zipping up his hoodie before getting into bed because he can feel the other boy’s lips move against his collarbone and he kind of wishes he could be knocked straight into unconsciousness before the lightest of touches makes him lose his mind.

“Goodnight, Donghyun-ah,” he whispers into his hair.

Youngmin falls asleep with Donghyun’s breath fanning against his neck and the memory of Woojin’s voice in his ear.

_You should tell him._

He wakes in the same position and lies there content, arms wrapped around Donghyun’s waist, feeling less bleakly hollowed out than when Daehwi and Woojin had left earlier. It’s a moment of peace, without anxiety, but as he steadily becomes more awake he also grows more aware of just how close Donghyun is. The younger mumbles in his sleep and shifts, curling into Youngmin like he’s seeking comfort.

_You should tell him._

Youngmin gulps and tries to slow his breathing so that the rise and fall of his chest continues at a steady pace, unlikely to disturb Donghyun where he’s laid his head on his sternum. Like this, Donghyun looks downright angelic, the usual glint of mischief in his eyes hidden by softly closed lids and fluttering eyelashes.

_You should tell him._

Youngmin doesn’t know what time it is but what he does know is that if he lays here underneath Donghyun for a second longer with Woojin’s words running through his head incessantly, he’s going to scream or do something similarly drastic like wake Donghyun up for a morning kiss.

_You should tell him. You should tell him. You should tell him. You should tell him. You should-_

Youngmin groans and extricates himself from the grasp of the other boy, who whines at the sudden loss of warmth but remains asleep. Youngmin feels his heart tug in his chest and resists the urge to stare, grabbing a change of clothes and going to the bathroom to wash his face. When he returns, Donghyun is awake. Well, he’s sitting up and rubbing his eyes, but that’s not always synonymous with being awake.

Donghyun’s cheeks are rosy, hair mussed from sleep and he still looks _so good_ that it sort of, maybe, makes Youngmin want to tackle him onto the bed.

Thankfully, Youngmin is awake enough to exercise some modicum of self-control, at least.

“You’re up,” Youngmin observes as he perches on the edge of the other bed to put on his socks. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

“Nah,” is all Donghyun manages to get out before a yawn overtakes him. “I should be up anyway. My brother’s in town and he’s coming over for lunch or something since we have a day off.” Another yawn interrupts him and Youngmin fights the contagious urge to do the same. “Where are you headed off to?”

“Just the practice room,” he replies, getting up. He needs to clear his head and Donghyun doesn't ask, just reminds him not to forget to eat lunch.

 

 

 

 

Dancing doesn’t come naturally to Youngmin like it does to, say, Woojin. The latter has a passion for it that thrums in him from head to toe; when he dances he’s in his element, simultaneously getting lost in the movement and feeling like he’s found his way home. Youngmin likes dancing well enough, but it requires more focus, more practice, before he reaches a standard he’s happy with. The both of them get lost in concentration, the younger out of enjoyment and the older out of determination to get it right.

Today, as he flicks on the light switch and walks into the empty practice room, Youngmin is hoping to use that to his advantage. He’s hoping that he will become so fixated on working out the little details of their routine, that he’ll drive out the thoughts swirling through his head.

Thoughts like going back to the dorm and pulling Donghyun into a kiss where he’s probably standing in the kitchen making a pot of coffee, still in his pyjamas.

Thoughts like calling Donghyun to come down here and then crowding him against the mirror like a character in one of those popular manhwa.

Thoughts of actually _doing something_ about his feelings instead of continuing on in secret, in silence.

_You should tell him._

Youngmin shakes his head and starts the music.

It’s hours later, when he’s long since discarded his jumper to the floor and his t-shirt is sticking to his skin with sweat, that he’s too tired to continue dancing, too tired to continue pushing back his internal turmoil.

It’s only then that he starts to think about actually taking Woojin’s advice.

_You should tell him._

To be perfectly honest, it’s not that he doesn’t want to.

In fact, Youngmin dreams of a world where he can be confident enough to freely approach Donghyun and tell him that somehow or other, he’s given his heart to him. A world where he can hold Donghyun’s hand and never let go, take him on dates in public without fear of discovery, love him in all the ways that he deserves.

The problem is not his desires, but his abilities.

Confessing to the person you like?

That’s one of those things you tend to avoid when you’re a shy, awkward sort of person.

Telling the most beautiful, amazing, kind, talented, radiant, _wonderful_ boy on Earth that you Want To Do The Date Thing™? 

That’s terrifying.

But what’s also terrifying, he’s come to realise, is losing the opportunity to say something at all. 

He’s holding out for when he feels _more ready_ \- for a better time, a different place, for a day that may never come. Woojin and Daehwi moving out reminded him of the impermanence of, well, _everything._

He doesn’t want to wake up one day to realise his chance of happiness or at the very least closure, has passed him by.

No, he wants to wake up everyday like he did today; warm, content and lighthearted, with the person he cares about most in the world in his arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Youngmin’s out the door in seconds, barely remembering to turn off the light, the door banging shut behind him. He’s halfway down the stairs before he realises he’s forgotten to lock up, so he turns on his heel to quickly jab the key into the lock before taking the stairs again at a run.

He bursts into the dorm, toeing off his shoes in the entrance hall and calling out Donghyun’s name. He finds him alone in the kitchen, his brother fortunately must have left already, and he’s peering into one of the cupboards, looking for mugs, Youngmin assumes, since the kettle is on.

He looks up in surprise when Youngmin skids to a stop in front of him, calling his name. Donghyun stands, a look of confusion on his face and Youngmin realises he probably looks like a bit of a madman running in here, out of breath, with no notice.

Donghyun opens his mouth but Youngmin cuts him off before he can say anything.

“Don’t-” he puffs out, trying not to make it any more obvious that he ran here faster than he ever has in his life. “Don’t say anything. I need to- there’s something I have to say.”

He rushes on, worried that if he stops for breath he’ll lose his nerve.

“Daehwi and Woojin left us and it hurts, a lot, and maybe it’s horrible of me to say it but I’m glad that it’s them leaving and not you. I don’t know what I would do if you ever left me. I think I might actually go insane because every moment we’re apart, I’m thinking of you and,” he laughs breathlessly, “it’s actually bloody annoying because? How am I meant to get any work done when all I can think about is you?”

Donghyun has been silent all this time but he’s starting to look a bit alarmed, like a deer in the headlights.

Youngmin decides he should just get to the point so he takes a deep breath and-

“I like you, Donghyun. I like you a lot and you don’t, you don’t have to like me back but I wanted to tell you. I- I needed to tell you.”

There, he’s said it.

He waits with baited breath as a myriad of emotions cross the other boy’s face; from confusion, to surprise, to alarm, to discomfort, before finally settling on...amusement.

Youngmin doesn’t know what to think about that but if Donghyun laughs at him in his moment of vulnerability he might just crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment. Absentmindedly he wonders if that’s considered a breach of contract.

Before Donghyun can respond, though, there’s a noise behind him and Youngmin whirls around to see someone standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

More accurately, he turns around to see _Donghyun_ standing in the doorway of the kitchen.

This Donghyun is leaning against the doorframe, a towel around his neck, wet hair splayed across his forehead and his skin dewy from a recent shower.

Youngmin is frozen in confusion before it clicks.

_Im Youngmin, you’re an idiot._

He decides then and there that he doesn’t care if disappearing into the floor is a breach of contract, he’ll do it anyway, to hell with the legal consequences.

_“My brother’s in town and he’s coming over for lunch or something since we have a day off,” Donghyun says in his memory._

If Youngmin thought he’d die of humiliation if Donghyun laughed at his confession, then that’s nothing compared to the embarrassment he feels right now, at the realisation that he’s just confessed - not to _Donghyun_ , no - but to Donghyun’s brother.

Donghyun’s _twin_ brother.

Because Donghyun has a twin brother and _you totally knew that you absolute idiot, how could you forget something like that?_

If Youngmin hadn’t been so flustered, so preoccupied with his thoughts, he’d have noticed the extra pair of shoes in the entrance hall, he would have wondered why Donghyun was looking for coffee mugs in the kitchen of the dorm he’s lived in for the past two years.

“Oh my God,” is all Youngmin can find it in himself to utter.

“Oh my God, is right,” comes a chuckle from behind him and Youngmin cringes, hesitantly turning to face the man he just wrongly confessed his love to.

“Taehyun,” Youngmin greets with a grimace. He’s heard lots about Donghyun’s brother but he’s never actually met him.

Until now.

One hell of a first meeting.

“Yep.” Donghyun’s brother, Taehyun, has a grin spread across his face, like Christmas has come early. “That’s me.”

Youngmin wonders if it’s possible to do oneself an injury by cringing too hard, and if so, is it the kind of injury that would put one in a coma because that would be _really nice_ right now.

Now that he’s not distracted, Youngmin can see the differences that should have been obvious earlier. Taehyun’s hair is just that bit curlier, he has more of a slouch to his shoulders and there’s a stud piercing his earlobe that Donghyun doesn’t have.

Taehyun approaches Youngmin and claps him on the shoulder. “You should tell him,” he says, unknowingly echoing Woojin’s words. “You’ve done it once, you can do it again.” 

Youngmin gurgles in response.

Then Taehyun steps past him and moves towards his brother, ruffling his wet hair in farewell. “I should be going now; was good seeing you little bro.”

“You’re only a minute older!” Donghyun yells vehemently as his brother heads for the door, before turning back to Youngmin with a puzzled look on his face. “So, you...had to tell me something?”

The door bangs shut.

Youngmin swallows and averts his eyes. “It’s...it’s not anything important. Sorry for interrupting your time with Taehyun. I’ll just be goi-”

His attempt to escape the kitchen is halted by Donghyun’s firm hand on his chest, pushing him back. Youngmin stumbles and Donghyun keeps advancing until he’s backed his hyung up against the sink.

“Are you sure? It sounded important.” Donghyun cocks his head to the side but there’s something about his curious expression that looks...careful, calculated. Like he already knows what Youngmin wants to say.

Maybe he does.

For all Youngmin knows, Donghyun could have overheard his entire conversation with Taehyun earlier. Or it could just be that Youngmin is really, _really_ obvious given the way his cheeks are flushed red and he can’t meet Donghyun’s eyes.

And if that’s the case, then...he doesn’t have a lot to lose, right?

Youngmin bites his lip and determinedly looks the man in front of him in the eye.

“Kim Donghyun…”

They’re both holding their breath at this point and Donghyun’s gaze is intense, expectant, _hard_ like he’s holding something back, waiting for Youngmin to finish his sentence.

“Kim Donghyun, I really like you. As more than a friend, as a boyfriend, actually- if that wasn’t already clear. The one word ‘boyfriend’, by the way, not the one with the space in the middle. Not that I’m assuming you’ll want to be my boyfriend, it’s okay if you don’t like me back, I’m not expecting anything, I just-”

Youngmin doesn’t get a chance to finish his rambling because Donghyun has surged forward and pressed his mouth against Youngmin’s.

_Holy shit._

_Is this real?_

_Is this really happening right now?_

Youngmin’s eyes are wide open and he’s frozen as he attempts to reconcile what’s happening with what he expected - which was, at best, a friendly rejection.

This is friendlier than he was anticipating.

After receiving no response, Donghyun pulls back, uncertainty drawing his eyebrows together.

Shaken out of his shocked state by the absence of Donghyun’s soft lips against his and the vulnerability seeping into the younger’s gaze, it’s Youngmin who closes the gap this time, fisting the fabric of Donghyun’s t-shirt in his hand in order to bring their mouths back together.

He still can’t believe this is happening but if he’s going to spend time coming to terms with it, he might as well do so while kissing the lips he’s not ashamed to say he’s dreamed about.

Their mouths slot together like that’s what they were designed to do but Youngmin still plants his hands on Donghyun’s hips, tilts his head, in order to get closer. He wants to mould himself to Donghyun until it’s impossible to tell where one of them ends and the other starts. It’s messy and their teeth clash; they’re unrefined in their enthusiasm, as if they’ve both been waiting to do this for a long, long time and now that the chance has come they don’t want to stop for even a moment. 

Youngmin briefly registers the edge of the bench digging into his back but then there’s Donghyun’s tongue tracing his lower lip and Youngmin’s not thinking about anything other than _Donghyun_ as heat rises in his cheeks and thrums through his whole body.

It’s only when he feels a hand start to slide into his hair that he pulls back.

“What’s wrong?” Donghyun asks with a pout, lower lip jutting out, flushed red, and Youngmin wants to take it between his teeth before he remembers-

“I’m gross,” he objects. “I’m all sweaty from dance practice still. I probably stink.”

“I don’t care,” Donghyun asserts in a low voice and Youngmin feels his stomach flip. “I don’t care if you’re covered in sweat or if you smell like the Han river. Not when you finally worked up the courage to say something after all this time. Not when I _finally_ get the chance to kiss you all I want. Not when you’re finally _mine_.”

Well, he certainly can’t object to that.

Donghyun slides his hands under Youngmin’s thighs and then he’s suddenly lifting him up until Youngmin’s sitting on the bench, careful to avoid the tap behind him.

Youngmin sits there, chest heaving, as he looks down at Donghyun who stands between his legs, eyes bright and pupils blown.

There’s a moment of pause, their breathing loud in the silence, as Donghyun stares up at him with the fondest expression on his face and Youngmin wonders how he’s missed it all this time.

Then Donghyun says, _“Where were we?”_ and they’re back again, as if magnetised, and when Youngmin runs his hands though Donghyun’s hair, feels warm fingers skim under the hem of his shirt, he only has enough presence of mind to be grateful that the kids aren’t here to witness this.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I've never really written much before so feedback and constructive criticism are super welcome ❤
> 
> p.s. Donghyun really does have a twin brother but they're fraternal, not identical.


End file.
